How long are we responsible for our children

At what point do we stop being responsible for our children. From the time they are babies in our arms until they leave the nest, parents struggle with letting go and allowing their children to grow up. I struggled a lot with this. My children are now in their 20's and I still find my self feeling I need to step in and smooth over or offer advice that is has not been asked for. This is met with "Dad I can do this with out you" or "Dad stop asking me that". Funny though they want to run their own life, but always seem to know where I am when the pocket book is low.

I am somewhat old fashioned and tend to allow my children to hurt financially. I do step in when it is for prescriptions or such, but for the most part I will let then suffer therefore hopefully teaching them to budget a bit better and make their dollar stretch a bit. It was not until my children reached 20 though that sadly I finally let go and realised that life had to sting them to make them listen. Before that I would give advice, sometimes strong advice more along the lines of "do this ore else" advice. This usually made for interesting times of conflict, children trying to reach out their wings and jump off the top branch - me trying to keep them in the nest.

When is a good time to "let go", I believe that every child is different. They mature at different rates, girls seem to be able to make important decisions at an earlier age, however I have seen many girl mess up big time during this period. Each parent needs to evaluate their children individually from the other and from themselves as far as that goes. To judge our children's ability to make decisions based from our own selves at that age is wrong. I was not old enough at 17 for certain decisions but that in no way means my children are not ready at 17. I think as parents we need to slowly start letting go with control around high school. The sad fact is that at the age of 13 the parental influence in our children is roughly 30% compared to their peers at school and by the age of 15 it is almost non existent. The mistake many parent make at 15 is "frustration" and then letting the kids go completely. No 15 year old is capable of making life altering decisions yet many parent allow their kids to do as they please. What often results from this is total rebellion. rebellion from God and from the Parents.

The good news is that God does give us guidance in this matter. Proverbs 22:6 states "train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not depart from it" this does not mean that your child will not rebel and turn away from God for a spell, it does mean that even the prodigals that are trained in Gods way will one day return to Him. It is a promise from God to parents. Parents love your children with all of your heart, teach them the ways of God, teach them to pray and depend on God. You will be surprised at how God will help you in that transition.